Hooray! If you’re reading this, then it means that my efforts of beginning a blog have begun to take fruit. I have procrastinated creating my website and writing my first posts because frankly, I was scared. Staying where you always have been is so easy. I was scared of what others might think of me spilling a corner of my brain into text on a daily basis. At the same time, I was scared of what would happen if absolutely nobody read it (still a fear of mine) and I was scared that it would be a waste of my time. This could go on and on, as demonstrated in Shel Silverstein’s poem:
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I’m dumb in school?
Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there’s poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don’t grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won’t bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don’t grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!
So. At this stage in my life, I can take advantage of obscurity. I can use my ignorance and naïveté to my benefit. I still think that anything is possible (but not everything – there’s a difference) for me. The uncharted waters of knowledge are infinite for me. I can take risks and fail again and again with no reputation to lose. I have no insecurity but my ever-present ego, which is really nothing but self-dictated baggage.
Well, five weeks and 46 posts in, I’m thinking, I’m glad I took the first step. Sure, I was stressed during exam week, but the few hours I could find to spare became super valuable for me. It was amazing how productive I could be when I knew that my time was limited. I loved exacting the transfer of a cloudy notion in my head into clear, specific words.
I sure didn’t know everything about blogging when I created my WordPress account a month ago. Heck, I still don’t. But if anything, what I’ve learned about life is that you can, and sometimes you have to, continue, even if you don’t think you have everything figured out at the stage you’re at. Your seeker comes to find you whether you’re ready or not. Exam weeks come whether you’re ready or not. You graduate whether or not you think you’re ready for the real world. Accept that you’ll have to learn things as you go, otherwise you’ll never start. Once that happens there’s a certain feeling of peace.
“I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you’re on it.” ~Johnny Depp
Whatever it is you’re waiting to do today, take the plunge, and enjoy the ride!