In Search of Lost Time

Beauty Beyond Bones recently wrote about the grief that comes with recovery. The mourning of a lost youth, of times and memories never to be had. Life lost to the void of not living fully. And I think I understand. I'm saddened, and on occasion, angry, at all the hours I've racked up doing things … Continue reading In Search of Lost Time

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Super Blue Blood Moon

Everything seems wrong this week. My mom is in the hospital, I'm only registered for two classes, and Jet's adoption seems as out of reach as ever. My days have been chaotic and tearful, and despite my best attempts at remaining positive, I feel a bit like Job, sitting among the ashes. I need to … Continue reading Super Blue Blood Moon

En français: Les ponts de Paris, selon Gautier, Roubaud, et Apollinaire

Two Septembers ago, I began studying the French language, eventually reaching proficiency. I self studied two more semesters' worth of French grammar over the summer so that I could take a literature course when I returned in the fall. The first essay I ever wrote there was filled with grammatical errors, but made sense. The … Continue reading En français: Les ponts de Paris, selon Gautier, Roubaud, et Apollinaire

Wintersession 2018: Float On Alright

Earlier this January, I was meant to go on a service trip to Nicaragua. I flew to Boston a few days early to get settled, rest a little, and pack. The day before departure, I learned that my flight was cancelled. Bummer, but no big deal. I knew about the blizzard that was about to … Continue reading Wintersession 2018: Float On Alright

Reposted on Mental Health First Aid USA: “Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018”

Hey everyone! I'm really excited to say that my latest post has been featured on the blog of The National Council for Behavioral Health, link below! Guest Commentary – Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018 I hope you have things to look forward to in the upcoming year. Please reach out for help … Continue reading Reposted on Mental Health First Aid USA: “Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018”

Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018

In 2017, I ditched the resolutions, which was a wise move. Here I quote myself, from less than a year ago: "I'm going to allow myself to make mistakes. Instead of being so pressured and focused on making a perfect year, because there's no such thing, I'm going to make 'next year's words await another … Continue reading Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018

Joy To This Weary World – (Christmas Post)

Merry Christmas. Still jet lagged, I woke up before the rest of the house, and had a few hours of opportunity to eat all the snacks I wanted and cry without anyone being there to see. Girl, you gained some weight this week. Last weekend, I was dismayed by how weak I felt in the … Continue reading Joy To This Weary World – (Christmas Post)

Hunger Strike

December 13 Relapse feels so easy it's almost like an old friend. It's scary to think that I buried those seeds so long ago, but they've been growing in the dark all this time. It's scary that even when I returned to a weight that was healthy for me, and carried on with desserts and … Continue reading Hunger Strike

Burning Clean, Emptier and Cry

It's dawned upon me that anorexia may be something I've never truly recovered from. Heck, I was never treated. Sometimes I question whether my illness was ever real, if no one noticed it at its worst. This past week, I can only recount two solid meals and two bowls of miso soup in my diet. … Continue reading Burning Clean, Emptier and Cry

Dvořák String Quartet No.12 (American)

This semester, my quartet has been working on the first two movements of the "American" Quartet. It's been an exciting and rewarding journey, and we gave our final performance on December 6th. Here's a YouTube upload of our concert. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/-usF7qjA-sk Fall 2017 performance at Wellesley College II. Lento I. Allegro ma non troppo Gloria … Continue reading Dvořák String Quartet No.12 (American)