Photo by Christopher Burns You wouldn't ask a toddler to run a marathon. You wouldn't make her sprint 100m, even if it's a comparatively short distance for someone older, either. There's a reason why physical development happens in stages. Just because she knows how to move forward with some baby steps, doesn't mean she's ready to … Continue reading Reconstruction
Lately, I've gathered so much tension in my head, I figured out how to wiggle my ears. (By activating a muscle I didn't know was in my control.) Part of it is a "what if" question. One which seems so big, I can only look to God for answers, help, and hope. Part of it … Continue reading Foundations
[inhales] I remain, having completed another circuit around the sun. But what does it mean to enter another decade, this time around? And specifically, what does it mean to be myself -- a young woman, of Chinese descent, living in America, in 2018 -- and to exist in that context? I remember how I felt … Continue reading Turning Twenty
A guest post by Sun Requiem.
A Note For My 8 Year Old Self
Oh, Gloria. You often wonder who you will be in a dozen years. (A lifetime and a half away.) Well, it’s me, and our twentieth birthday is just around the corner. You may not believe it, but I can, because I have watched the girl before me fight for each year in the life ahead of her.
I want you to know some things before you start growing up.
Although you may come last in every race you run and swim, you are far stronger than the world will ever let you know. Even though you shake and stutter when you speak, you are brave for even trying. That’s because ability doesn’t always reveal strength and courage: they are characteristics of your heart, just like curiosity and kindness. Likewise…
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so, this must be hunger because after a length of time it became a giddy default after the pain of a clenching stomach migrated to a light-headed mind to mistake emptiness and famine for light and nirvana when it was really just flesh eating flesh. so, this must be hunger because naming a thing gave … Continue reading Poem: So This Is Hunger
It's been nearly two decades in the making, but I finally got baptized this Sunday. I was given five minutes to testify how Jesus has worked in my life. Here's what I said: My name is Gloria. I stand here to proclaim what God has done in my life, and to dedicate myself to Christ. … Continue reading BAPTIZO! (Testimony)
God has been preparing me for my baptism in an unexpected series of ways. Two weeks prior to it, I had three consecutive nights of dreaming. As someone who can hardly remember a single dream from my own life, this is highly rare and unlikely. Less than two weeks prior, I accessed a profound anger … Continue reading Dreams of July
I've tapped into a huge reserve of anger regarding my past, and I can't help but to feel a bit scared. Not because it's unfamiliar, but because I recognize it as a part of me. A part of me which remains untamed, wild, uncontrollable. She wants to throw some tantrums, scream, punch a wall. To … Continue reading Sandra
When I started journaling in second grade, it was a kind of breakthrough. I was someone who thought and thought for hours on end, but I didn't see any of those thoughts and feelings as valid. Nothing about me was valid, so I hardly acknowledged myself as human. I was so terrible at articulating my … Continue reading Hardly Human
I've been spending a lot of my free time excavating my past. We teach our children that certain things are not allowed in society, because of laws and consequences. In my childish mind, I divided people into simple categories, like civilian, police, angel, and villain, and I thought that everything in the world worked out … Continue reading Prison Break