Interstitial Integrity

Photo by Todd Trapani I fell in love with the concept of interstitiality / interstices when I was working on my final design at Harvard's GSD summer program last summer. I wanted to confound the inside / outside binary and to push the boundaries that define space. But is there such a thing as pushing …

Tentative Beginnings

CW: ED symptoms Photo by Davide Foti Happy Daylight Savings, friends. This weekend was the first snow where I live. It’s a strange mood, and a tentative beginning to the season. I too, am undergoing change, having officially been discharged from partial hospitalization, ready to begin a period of intensive outpatient program. I'm thankful to …

Mount and Moon

Of course, when seasons of challenges are not so clearly demarcated, we still strive to make sense of potential patterns. Yet when I look back, this time of year is usually when I became overwhelmed by the seemingly impossible. ED is a bit different though. It's a mountain I love marking off as "finished," only you never step in the same river twice.

First Birthgay!

There is a pattern in the Bible, that as soon as we pass through the waters, we are thrust into the wilderness.. My belief is that one can never prepare for such a thing, but rather that in our position of weakness, we humbly receive manna, bread from heaven, a grace provided each morning, which is sufficient for the day.

Al-Eizariya

Photo by jesse orrico When people ask me whether I grew up in the church, my answer isn't so clear. Yes, and no. Because I've never been part of the in-group. The other kids would know each other, whereas I would be the one who would pop in for Sunday school or service for a stretch …

Beyond Multivariable: An Abridged Memoir

Having finished my undergraduate degree, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to sit with uncertainty. Perhaps the following words will fill a chapter of a memoir I will write someday. [CW: anxiety, panic, depression, ED, queerphobia] Photo by Greg Rakozy Believe me, I know what it’s like to be overwhelmed by a lack of understanding. …

Growing Pains: Fire In My Bones

I did not expect to end my undergraduate career sleeping in my bed, with a belly full of growing pains. This is what outgrowing and moving on looks like: leaving Sodom in flames, without so much as a glance over my shoulder -- lest these old wineskins burst and ruin the new wine. Shaking the dust off my feet. When I was younger and still growing (height-wise), I would have leg aches. It made me want to stretch myself out, to kick something. My current body couldn't contain where I wanted to go, and it made me angry. Once again, my bones are groaning. Here I am, alive and kicking. I am out, restless and angry. Yet, what is this perfect peace that guards my heart?

String Theory

After spending a few years away from the violin (and other instruments in general), I heard God tell me through prayer that He wanted me to return to my craft. Today, I just wanted to share a few clips of the work I have done since I heard that call.

בְּרָכָה (Berakhah)

Lately, for the first time, I've been having thoughts of scrapping my blog. Out of nearly four years worth of writing, do I really believe I have produced anything worthwhile?

An Interlude

Photo by Mae Mu My silence on this platform has been intentional. Maybe the day to share my grief will come sooner than I think. But I do not believe it is today. Abba, Your Spirit groans wordlessly within me. There You go, lifting my load again. You display Your glory within me. Let me …