I've written about depression, about suicidality, about self-harm, about generalized anxiety, about panic disorders, about eating disorders, about insomnia, and about OCD, among other tidbits of my life. It can be a lot. Each one of these topics is a rabbit hole that even I don't know how to navigate, if I get down too … Continue reading Stepping Out of the Sun
I prefer visual formats of media over text. As a result, I tend to be quite active on Pinterest and Instagram. Sometimes, it can be difficult to express my visual interests over a platform such as WordPress, which emphasizes written content. In the past, I have done monthly photo diaries to integrate these channels, but I realized the difficulty to … Continue reading [Lookbook – 1] Architecture
I have always felt comfortable in water. Since some of my earliest memories, I have loved being wet in the bathtub. I have also known how to swim for most of my life. Thus, I have never experienced any fear of water. As a child, I remember swimming over a diving well without fear, because … Continue reading On Near-Drowning
God broke through Monday night. This wasn't a dream. The reality was, that God met us in Ja's room that night. 'Code' names: Mc, Ja, Se, So, Mu Previously, I was in recovery for an eating disorder. Less than a week ago, I was under attack again. Starve! it commanded me, and the urge became … Continue reading Fresh.
I remind myself that progress isn't linear, but it's hard to believe I'm winning the war when I keep switching sides, so that every battle seems partly lost no matter what. While I haven't fainted in public yet, I've spent much of these past few days half conscious, weak-limbed, and dizzy, either in bed, or … Continue reading Cease Fire!
When I entered college, I operated under two assumptions: firstly, that I was neurotypical*; and secondly, that I would become a pre-medical biochemistry major, as soon as I got the chance to declare. My first and second year, respectively, broke apart these foundations of how I understood myself as a person and student, but gave … Continue reading Testimony: Amazing Grace
One year ago, I ventured off to a different continent and spent the entirety of my spring break exploring London, Paris, and More. What a blessing that was! I look back at those pictures and am dazzled by how much ground my two feet had covered. Little by little, one travels far. While I would gladly … Continue reading Spring Break 2018: Café Adventures in Cambridge, MA
Ha ha, of course I'm a feminist. There's a lot of change that I'd like to see in the world. I have thousands of pins and ideas saved on social equality. While the board itself is relatively recent, these ideas have been marinating in my head for years. It's past time I use my privilege … Continue reading Ha Ha, Of Course I’m A Feminist!
Recovery is tough. Some days I feel so large, I think I fill up the entire room when I step into one. I see my cheeks jiggle, and my neck grow round. My breasts fill my hands again, and my stomach collapses into soft folds that sometimes hide my belly button. My hip bones have … Continue reading The Grace of Surrender: Recovering from ED
Let's Get Real. What I am about to write has been, and continues to be, a source of pain and struggle in my life. However, it is my struggle: one in which I take ownership and self-agency. It's National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (#NEDAwareness). I am joining in the conversation by sharing my story. My name … Continue reading Let’s Get Real. #NEDAwareness