Deeper: Desiring Freedom

The first thing I remember about Kindergarten is roll call. Especially during the first few days of school. Every morning, the bus driver would pick me up on my block on Applewood Lane, where all I had to do was stand at the end of my own driveway, and wait for the big yellow bus … Continue reading Deeper: Desiring Freedom

The Grace of Surrender: Recovering from ED

Recovery is tough. Some days I feel so large, I think I fill up the entire room when I step into one. I see my cheeks jiggle, and my neck grow round. My breasts fill my hands again, and my stomach collapses into soft folds that sometimes hide my belly button. My hip bones have … Continue reading The Grace of Surrender: Recovering from ED

Wintersession 2018: Float On Alright

Earlier this January, I was meant to go on a service trip to Nicaragua. I flew to Boston a few days early to get settled, rest a little, and pack. The day before departure, I learned that my flight was cancelled. Bummer, but no big deal. I knew about the blizzard that was about to … Continue reading Wintersession 2018: Float On Alright

Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018

In 2017, I ditched the resolutions, which was a wise move. Here I quote myself, from less than a year ago: "I'm going to allow myself to make mistakes. Instead of being so pressured and focused on making a perfect year, because there's no such thing, I'm going to make 'next year's words await another … Continue reading Live, Live: Small Reasons to Survive in 2018

Joy To This Weary World – (Christmas Post)

Merry Christmas. Still jet lagged, I woke up before the rest of the house, and had a few hours of opportunity to eat all the snacks I wanted and cry without anyone being there to see. Girl, you gained some weight this week. Last weekend, I was dismayed by how weak I felt in the … Continue reading Joy To This Weary World – (Christmas Post)

Burning Clean, Emptier and Cry

It's dawned upon me that anorexia may be something I've never truly recovered from. Heck, I was never treated. Sometimes I question whether my illness was ever real, if no one noticed it at its worst. This past week, I can only recount two solid meals and two bowls of miso soup in my diet. … Continue reading Burning Clean, Emptier and Cry